13 Bands We Love We’ll Never Wear Their Shirts

If you wear band shirts every day, you usually come up with a system.There are shirts you wear around your family (no blood, usually no rotten penis), shirts you wear at festivals (rotten penis), and lucky shirts that make you look sexy for some reason (come to me It’s weird to say it’s a sick angel Gateway… shirt). Not only that, but you have some personal rules when it comes to wearing shirts. For example, no album cover, or no design on one side of the chest… Sometimes, even if you like a particular band, it’s hard to say no.

we can not completely Explain why some bands are absolutely no good for us when it comes to shirts. But like a lot of metal, we’ve found that using our guts is the smartest approach, and for some bands, our guts have built a hard wall. So, to explain why we feel this way, here are 13 examples of bands whose music we love so much, but for whatever reason, we’re not interested in their shirts…


when we imagine someone wearing Manovar shirt, it tucked into their jeans. Manowar is the official band, they see themselves as warriors in the metal army, and that shit always rubs us the wrong way. Also, they love to have text and designs on the t-shirt sleeves, which we never cared about (not long sleeves, but real t-shirts). Obviously “Blood of My Enemy” is the killer, but no, we can’t shake their gear.


We love sharp black metal perfectionists Nagfar, to confirm. But their logo is the onion. Every time I see that sign, I think, Oh yes, that awesome band logo. It looks like a fucking onion.this is your onion shirt. So yeah, onions make us cry when we dig shit out of Naglfar. Maybe if they made a shirt that literally said “HAIL THE ONION” on the back, we’d go get it.

resident Evil

In short, I can’t pull it down.A sort of resident Evil It looks great when hanging over a lanky, sweaty diehard fan or a guy with a big ass going through the pit.But I’m kind of like a teddy bear, no matter how much city ​​discipline Means the world has grown up for me and I’ll never look like a tough guy who likes rocking shirts. It should probably be over.


listen creepy Always great because their music pays homage to the death of old school. But maybe that’s why we’ll never rock a creepy shirt — something that pays homage to the band.While the creepy might rule, we’d rather die Humanity shirt. Always put these guys on the stereo, but maybe not on our torso.


Man, I don’t have time for those damn dramas.Is my shirt real? Batushka, or Batushka? Is it a shirt for the correct album or a masquerade shirt? Shit, I just wanted to represent a band with some cool artwork. Don’t get involved.


Same as the Resident Evil shirt, just in a different direction. heThe Chocolate Goth riff is a guilt of ours, but we’re not the real-life Jack Skellington sitting on a highway embankment staring Sally in the eye. We’re husky guys every day, so a HIM shirt can make us look like we’re using the word “erotic” in an uncomfortable way. go through.


even wearing vomit The shirts don’t have the word “vomit” on them yet, that band worked hard in the paint with no nuance. Cannibal Corpse’s morbid overkill makes their grotesque almost comical, but a shirt with an album title rape with own blood It feels like too much at any family event. Yes, also because it will have “vomit” on it.

GG Alin

legacy GG Alin One of the most volatile and convincing of punk. GG is the real deal, monsters among men. But his name is associated with one thing more than any other: Divide equally. Allin is best known for pooping on stage, and we’re not sure that’s the connection we want any punk-savvy person to make when they see our shirts. Oh hey, look. The guy was messed up by him.

Anna Nasrah

Too many explanations.Pronunciation is obvious, and for some metal fans, it will be fun to wear headphones Anna Nasrah shirt. But another has to explain that this has nothing to do with anal. We love these nihilistic bastards so much, but we just don’t have time to say, Actually, it’s uh-NAAAL, not “anal”.

Crazy Ball

In our hearts, a Crazy Ball Shirts are too much for us. Hardcore loyalty, endless scene drama, the desire to punch at all times – these are the things we associate with Madball shirts nine times out of ten. It’s a shame because their music is solid and has influenced so many of the bands we love. Having said that, we’re not sure we’re here to get our attention to baseballs grimacing on our shirts.

Demon Master

Too stark, too simple, and most importantly, too pink. Lots of things we like Demon MasterHow rascal and cheesy the music sounds; the guitar has a wonderful tone, in part because of its flirty fluff. But converting it to a shirt, it’s a simple image with some candles on their logo, all the same color as Pepto Bismol. Nothing against these guys – just not our thing.


…you know, I don’t fucking know why.I can’t for the life of me explain why I don’t want to wear it kelissa Shirts, because Kylesa’s music is great and their art is always cool.but i have no doubt no Want to wear a Kylesa shirt. If you give me a Kylesa shirt and any other metallic shirt, I’ll take another. Not sure why, but it’s still hard to say “no”.

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