The 41-year-old, who has appeared on four shows in the ABC franchise, was asked about his role in ” call her daddy podcast. While he said he thinks “the show does a better job” of supporting contestants with mental health issues, Vial admits he and other alumni of the series don’t get much when it comes to dealing with negativity. Help and the hatred that comes with it.
“The alumni really depend on each other,” Vial explained, noting that he and Ben Higgins became close friends after the same season. bachelorette“We went through it, we connected, we would call each other, especially when we said, ‘Man, I’m struggling. I’m stuck in a rabbit hole watching people be shit talking about me.'”
While the show has villains and fan favorites every season, Vial said that being bound by what people think of him is harmful, whether it’s good or not.
“The problem is if you read any comments and you don’t know any of these people, if you start reading the positives and start believing it, it usually validates the comments, and that subconsciously means you have to believe the negatives stuff. And then you go down that rabbit hole, which is a really toxic stuff,” he explained. “It’s none of our business what other people think of us, but we’re exposed to what everyone thinks of us.”
Viall said he had put a lot of effort into impressing others, and trying to gain unanimous acceptance and support from the audience was detrimental to his mental health.
“Especially in my first season, where I was the villain, I got a lot of criticism, and I would meet people in person, so they would say, ‘Oh my God, you’re nothing like what I expected. You look good, or You’re higher than I thought, ‘what the fuck. So I was kind of obsessed with meeting as many people as I could, and then I realized, I’m just trying to convince everyone that I feel so empty. I remember being in my twenties when I was dating,” he explained. “processing bachelor For me it was like a relapse. “
Vail went on to explain that he spent his twenties “chasing love, chasing relationships” after growing up by the example of his parents’ long marriage. “I feel like I need to show that I’m going to be a good partner,” he said. As he grew, he had to forget parts of it in order to get better in relationships. But in the end, the show took it out of him again.
“Everything I’ve learned and taught myself about self-control and not seeking approval, has been washed out. And then I came into the world and fell in love, I mean I had real feelings, and it made me very Shocked because when I left, I felt like I was back to the person I tried and worked so hard to get rid of,” he said.
Weir ended his 21st season with the team. bachelor, where he was engaged to Vanessa Grimaldi. After ending their relationship in August 2017, Vail explained that he was finally happy with being single. Natalie Joy slid into his Instagram direct message when he started hanging out with his now-girlfriend, Natalie Joy, whose 18-year age difference was his biggest concern.
“At first, I thought it was something I was very anxious about. Will we be compatible? I thought early on that was part of my concern. But the more I got to know her, the more I was just going to her for advice or just connecting with her. I just felt like we met on the same wavelength and I always felt like she was my equal,” he explained. “So other than that, it really didn’t matter. But earlier it was something I had to overcome. It was my own problem.”
Vial said Joey “knows I’m self-aware about it” and worked hard to remind him that age gap wasn’t a factor. Eventually, the way he talked to his friends about her made him realize it didn’t matter.
“I always remember talking to certain friends and I would hope the gap didn’t exist because I wouldn’t be nervous about it. I always just talked about all the things I liked about her or what she would do for me,” he said. Say. “I’m a big personality. I don’t always feel like a human being that I can relate to regardless of age. With her, I never felt that disconnected.”
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